A Provocateur's Perspective

Pursuing Christian Discipleship

2008-08-22T08:50:00.001-07:00

Christian discipleship is such a foreign concept to so many people, even among well-established believers. I recently taught on this very subject within our Marriage Matters community at church. We talked about a number of areas, such as repentance, a long obedience in the same direction (thanks to Eugene Peterson), weighing the cost of being a disciple, etc. And I believe that individuals, in general, acknowledged the need for these things. But what was revealed through our discussions is that many of these couples do not truly have a framework or foundation of discipleship. There is little intentionality in being a pupil of Jesus, or a sense of purposeful "following" after Jesus.

It became apparent that most of these couples were more interested in Christian "experiences" that transform their lives - that give them a sort of leap or boost towards Jesus, towards becoming more like him. It is as if some metaphysical experience has been elevated beyond the centrality of Jesus and being a disciplined follower of him. And it makes sense; having an "experience" is the easiest route to expedient transformation. It also has the added bonus of providing an emotional euphoria that is difficult to replicate, and having such an experience requires little effort beyond showing up.

Where is the sweat and work in engaging God's Word? Where is the effort to worship individually, to fast and pray, to confess and repent before the Lord, to be mentored and to mentor others (especially within the family), to read and engage great biblical leaders/scholars? Where are the basic spiritual disciplines that lead us down a path of being spiritual "self-feeders?"

I suppose I am looking for a particular culture, an environment or community that seeks to move beyond the worship of Christian experience. I am looking for those who truly want to learn and grow, and who are willing to engage discipleship with a renewed intensity.

Missing the Mountains

2008-08-14T18:48:00.001-07:00

You never quite realize how much you miss having something scenic to gaze at and captivate your attention (like mountains and all things green) until you live in a place that has absolutely nothing scenic about it. I know God calls us to contentment, but I am praying for the mountains to move (it is a biblical concept - all is needed is a little faith).

Being a Bachelor

2008-08-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

Adina and the boys have headed to fish, swim, and hang at her parents' ranch just south of the Dallas/Fort Worth area. So I am officially a bachelor for a couple of days. I thought the joy of being free of significant family responsibilities would last longer than it has - I miss them already. I do have some solid guy time lined up though, which will be a good distraction.

I suppose my routine gets all disrupted when Adina and the boys are gone, and I am one of those that finds immense comfort in consistency. I end up staying up too late, eating horribly, and generally feeling out of sorts. I have to resort to my coping mechanism: a hazelnut latte and blogging.

Geocaching Status Bar

2008-08-01T08:36:00.001-07:00

So I am proud of myself (which is allowed on occasion). I figured out how to put my geocaching status bar on my blog, which required learning how to cut and paste HTML coding. I originally saw a status bar on a friend's blog and thought that it was a great detail to add. The downside is that I have been inconsistent in logging when I have actually found various geocaches in the Abilene area, so my "found" status is almost embarrassing.

But my enthusiasm for geocaching has been renewed after I recently discovered that a number of new finds had been placed in the region. I have yet to identify a geocaching buddy, but I am actively looking.

Why Are Friendships So Hard

2008-07-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

Why are friendships so hard? You would think, especially in Christian circles, that relationships and friendships would come more naturally or with greater ease. We are instructed to love another as Christ has loved us, to be prime examples of acceptance, warmth, encouragement, to show no partiality. But my own experience, as of late, has been that relationships are a ton of work, and even then there is no guarantee the friendship with gain momentum and progress.

Part of the struggle is that I have encountered so many differing views of what a "social life" for believers should entail. I wish there was some biblical manual on social relationships. I suppose Adina and I have a particular idea of how we should balance time for each other, time with our boys individually, time as a whole family, and time with friends. And that view, as I am learning, is not necessarily a popular one - we are not so inclined to whimsically and spontaneously stay up late watching movies and drinking beer multiple nights of the week with friends (which seems to be the pervasive norm among many younger couples).

We want great friendships - I am sure of that. But we want friendships that have a particular tenor or nature, that possess a specific quality to them. That quality is becoming harder and harder to find. Lord, give us wisdom in how to relate to one another!

A Long Hiatus

2008-07-18T19:00:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe I have not made a single post in 2008. I can honestly say that I have often thought to, only at an impossible time or in an inconvenient moment. But my heart has longed to write again. It is amazing how skills dull (in my case, my writing abilities and creative thinking) when you don't use them often.

I have found I need a place to process my world, even if no one reads - a place to simply formulate cohesive thoughts and to work through particular circumstances and ideas that I have been encountering. Writing, for me, brings clarity - something I am in high need of pretty much all the time. My prayer is that real clarity comes, that truth is discovered and embraced, and that somehow as I write I can experience and taste of the deep things of Jesus again and again.

Lost a Marble

2007-11-09T06:53:00.001-08:00

I read today that Pat Robertson has official given his endorsement to Rudy Giuliani for the 2008 Presidential Race, which in my mind confirms that Robertson has, in fact, lost a marble. Giuliani has consistently shown his support for gay and abortion rights, which flies in the face of some of Robertson's core Christian values.

What this demonstrates (in my mind) is that Pat Robertson has become convinced that the definition of marriage and the sanctity of life are issues of less importance within the political realm, or at least of less importance to the presidential race. That he is willing to endorse a candidate that takes an opposing stance on these issues suggests that Robertson has other objectives in mind, that other issues are more important than these. What precisely are those issues? What does Robertson gain by supporting Giuliani?

I am a firm believer that the spiritual cannot be divorced from the political - they are intricately woven together. To surrender or acquiesce on issues of gay rights or abortion becomes a slippery slope. If we do indeed push aside these convictions for the sake of some political end, then what moral or ethic convictions should we stand on? Where do we draw the line and say, "We will not surrender or acquiesce on this moral issue."

Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott

2007-11-02T08:26:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago Adina and I attended a CCN simulcast at church on marriage mentoring that featured Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. The simulcast was very informative and engaging, and I am beginning to delve deeper into other materials written by the Parrotts. They have some great ideas that have been challenging me both in my marriage and parenting. Their website is www.realrelationships.com. I would strongly encourage all my readers to check out their resources.

Facial Expressions

2007-11-02T08:15:00.000-07:00

I am becoming seriously self-conscious of my facial expressions. Recently during our vacation to Pagosa Springs, my dad took several candid pictures of me (in the context of our family) in which I had horrible facial expressions – and, of course, cameras never lie. And on Halloween night we had a Fun Fall Frenzy for kids and their families at church, during which I played guitar for a time of worship. Adina told me I was making all kinds of interesting (I think she said “intense”) facial expressions while I was playing with the band, one of which looked as though I was highly upset or angry. I assured her that I was not upset or angry. What was going through my mind when I was making those faces?

Most of the time, I am not thinking about what facial expression I am making. But I have been told that I am very expressive with my face, and that it is difficult for me to hide how I am truly feeling. This notion is not comforting in the least. What is a guy to do to ensure that when he is NOT conscious of his facial expression, the one on his face is at least a pleasant one?

Confession: We're Addicted to 24

2007-10-26T07:24:00.000-07:00

What to do? We have now officially finished watching all six seasons of “24” and season seven does not begin until January of 2008. And no matter how much we tried to prepare ourselves for a major cliffhanger at the end of season six (all previous seasons gave us fair warning), we are still caught in the overwhelming wonder of Jack Bauer’s fate.

Some have suggested that we make a leap to shows such as “House” or “Lost” or “Prison Break.” But I am worried that I will be significantly disappointed after a long stint (it took us a little over a year to work through all six seasons) of our favorite television program. I have heard that “Grey’s Anatomy” is also intelligent and engaging.

Maybe our newfound Jack Bauer absence is God’s way of saying we need to be more creative in our down time after the kids are in bed. Just maybe…

GOP Candidates for 2008

2007-10-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else struggling with the current GOP candidates running for the presidency in 2008? It seems that the leading possibilities have at least one area either politically or morally that I strongly disagree with. And many within the pundit world seem content to sacrifice strong spiritual convictions (e.g. on the issue of abortion or gay rights) to accomplish a more conservative agenda politically. They seem to be drawing a distinction between what is “spiritual” from what is “political,” as if one does not or should not necessarily inform the other. The irony is that all candidates, on both sides of the isle, see the importance of claiming to be individuals of “faith” – what that faith entails is a moot point, as long as one can claim to have a faith (see the recent article in the Rocky Mountain News entitled “Romney’s Strange View of Faith” by Paul Campos).

The one candidate that seems to be one that I can get behind and support, that shares both similar spiritual and political views, is Mike Huckabee (the governor of Arkansas). But he lacks the popularity or public notoriety of other candidates like Giuliani, Romney, or Thompson. I would encourage all my blog readers to research more on Mike Huckabee to see where he stands in their eyes.

Vacation Anyone?!

2007-10-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

So we did the unthinkable…went on vacation right after moving. The house was (and still is) stacked with boxes in just about every room. But we wanted to take advantage of spending time with my folks in Pagosa Springs and seize the opportunity to get away before we hit the holiday season. My parents were gracious to offer the use of a timeshare condo there. We stayed in Pagosa for about four nights (took David out of school) and then made the trek to Albuquerque to see the final weekend of their annual Balloon Fiesta. And I can honestly say we underestimated how incredible the balloon festival would be.

At the Balloon Fiesta, they allow you onto the field where all the balloons are inflated and launched. So on Saturday, prior to their “mass ascension” which entailed close to 700 balloons, we woke early in the morning with the boys and made our way to the field (taking a Park & Ride shuttle is definitely the way to go). We were able to get up close to several balloons being pulled out and inflated. We were so engrossed in watching one particular balloon get setup that we failed to realize that balloons all around us were doing the same. Before we knew it, we were completely surrounded by hot air balloons that were progressively launching and being blown to the north. It was truly breath taking. The boys loved watching all the odd shaped balloons in the sky: a large cow, a Wells Fargo Wagon, Humpty Dumpty, Spiderman, Darth Vader, a lighthouse, and a host of others.

We would strongly recommend this as a fun family vacation for all those with young children, if you can manage to wake between 4:30 – 5:00 a.m.

Our New Home

2007-10-05T13:02:00.001-07:00

In Abilene

2007-10-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

It is official…we have moved to Abilene from Sweetwater. This past weekend a faithful few gathered to move us for the third time in thirteen months. I think both Adina and I are planning to stay put for a good, long season. Moving is simply exhausting, and we are neck deep in boxes. But we are truly thrilled to be in our new home (which we own) – it is all that we had hoped and more!

This past Wednesday evening was our final congregational gathering with the Sweetwater extension of Beltway Park Baptist Church in Abilene. The senior pastor of our church, David McQueen, conveyed in a gentle but firm way that having a campus there was not feasible at this point. There is a significant need to start from the beginning with building a solid foundation and stronger core group of believers there. If the Sweetwater group is willing to walk through those steps and grow to be healthier, then reopening a Sweetwater campus is definitely still in the picture. The response of the congregation was mixed. Some found it difficult to accept that their church was “closing” in the sense of not having Sunday morning services. Others understood the situation, but find it challenging to commute weekly to Abilene for services and activities. Others are fully on board with Beltway Park and are more than willing to make the drive each week until something can be rebuilt in Sweetwater.

My role at the church has changed significantly. I am no longer associated with the Sweetwater group. Instead I am becoming a man of many hats. One hat is in the area of finance and administration. One of the main pastors has been in this role for over ten years, and he is an exceptional businessman. But he is all too eager to pass the responsibilities over to me so that he can focus on those things that are more in alignment with his personal passions (e.g. men’s ministry). Another hat is in the area of marriage, family, and parenting. This is the one that excites me. I will be working with a ministry called C3 (Couples Coaching Couples) that pairs older, seasoned couples with other couples that are either looking to get married or that are already married but facing some significant issues or challenges. I will also have my hand in coordinating a once-a-month evening in which a series of parenting classes are offered to church and surround community. And of course, I will be eventually starting some form of Young Marrieds class – if only I could have some of our core families in Colorado come and join the group! Anyone interested in moving?

So…that is the latest update. It is a whole chunk of change and adjustment, which brings its own measure of weight and challenge. But it is good change, and I am hopeful of our next season.

If you would like our new contact information, make a post here or email us, and we will email you all the latest and greatest…

More Life Changes

2007-08-25T20:51:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe it has been well over two months since my last post, and I may have lost the few readers I once had. But in case there is still a remnant, I write this post with a heaviness and sobriety that I cannot shake…and yet there is hope and enthusiasm within as well.

Our season here in Sweetwater is coming to a rapid end, and we have been encouraged by the leadership/elders of our primary church in Abilene to, in fact, relocate to Abilene. How we managed to arrive at this point and scenario is the story of our last two months, and in many ways the reason why I have not posted in quite some time. It is difficult to know even what to say or how to say it, and I want to be careful not to portray families here in Sweetwater in a negative light. I think what the last few weeks has revealed is that a) we began this multi-campus experiment with a wounded people who possessed an underestimated measure of distrust in leadership, b) we underestimated the cultural difficulties of a smaller rural community and its understanding of congregational life, c) many of the adults within our Sweetwater congregation did not fully understand and embrace the multi-campus concept from the beginning, and d) more time should have been invested initially in ensuring more families really endorsed the mission/vision and methodology of the our primary campus. Ultimately, the majority of the families within our congregation began to question the overall relationship we had with our primary campus in Abilene, and they eventually made a decision to reject Adina and I as the key representatives of that campus and its ministry philosophy and values. The process, for us personally, has been a difficult and hurtful one. I think we are still wrestling through the whole situation, trying to be mature in extending grace, mercy, forgiveness, and blessing.

I believe I can say with integrity that I still love these families and individuals, and that I have compassion on them. But never in my life have I been the recipient of such harsh accusations, attacks upon my character and values, as we have received here in the last two months. And never in my life have I ever been so blatantly rejected and deemed unworthy of even eye contact (much less acknowledgement). It has forced Adina and me to really question what is true about us, to seek out the counsel of many who know us well. And we have been encouraged by the reality that many of the accusations made were, in fact, unfounded and unjustified. But even beyond the personal attacks, what makes this transition so difficult is knowing that there are unresolved issues still looming out there with many of these families. They have an unwillingness to seek reconciliation, despite multiple attempts to pursue that end. So we will be leaving with loose ends, with broken relationships that are outside our control – certainly not neat, tidy, and cordial.

A Father's Day to Remember

2007-06-19T06:06:00.000-07:00

So this past Sunday morning, on Father’s Day (and my birthday), my day began with a fun adventure. Why do these things always seem to happen on Sunday mornings?

True to my usual routine, I got up around 6:00 a.m. to head to the church. As I was drying off from the shower, I felt this intense shock of pain in my left thumb. I literally thought I had been electrocuted – the pain in my thumb was unbelievable. I was trying to figure out what happened and held up my towel, only to see a three-inch scorpion crawling down my towel. I got stung…BY A SCORPION.

Adina’s parents happen to be in town, and her stepmother (Kerry) is a nurse. So we woke her to ask what we should do. We did not know if scorpions are poisonous or what treatment we should pursue…Kerry got up, as well as Adina’s dad (Gary), and they suggested (from years of experience on the mission field in Nepal) that one of the best treatments was to shock (from a DC source) the area in which I was stung in order to change the diffusion of the sting in my thumb. I was a bit unsure about it all but complied. So Adina’s dad rigged a spark plug cable in our car and shocked (with considerable jolt) my thumb. Picture in your mind an entire group of adults standing outside at 6:30 a.m. on Sunday shocking a scorpion bit thumb. Yes…it was quite comical, indeed!

My thumb is feeling better, but the entire episode was bizarre, to say the least. A Father’s Day and birthday to remember!

Super Connor

2007-06-16T12:15:00.000-07:00

Connor has convinced himself that if he puts on a nasty purple, pink, and yellow fanny pack (from the dress-up bag) he transforms into Superman - he will extend his arms out, and with a hardy "Superman" he dashes from the room at full velocity. I cannot help but to laugh...and I am still trying to figure out how he knows about Superman to begin with. We have never watched anything Superman, either the real movies or the cartoons with him around.

Processing Phil Elston & The Demonstrative Gifts

2007-06-16T12:12:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday I participated in a service that featured a gentleman by the name of Phil Elston, who is known internationally (within more charismatic circles) for his gift of prophecy. He was a laid-back and down-to-earth individual who was genuinely humble about his gifting. He gave a simple yet profound teaching on the nature of prophecy which seemed biblical and balanced, and then we transitioned into a “ministry time” in which he would gently approach various people and couples in the sanctuary and pray prophetically over them. The prayers and words of prophecy were encouraging and uplifting.

He prayed prophetically over a friend that has been working the past four months for FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) in Abilene. Without any previous knowledge, Phil prayed concerning this friend’s influence with coaches and athletes – it was amazing. I truly believe Phil is a modern day prophet, and the way he administered his gift seemed legitimate and powerful.

I personally tried to gauge my own expectations of the evening. He was very selective in terms of whom he prayed prophetically over, and only a small percentage of those there were prayed over. I internally wanted to be prayed over, but tried to convince myself not to be disappointed if he did not call me out. And of course, he did not pray over me. I thought at one point he might – he was walking in my direction and made eye contact for more than a few seconds. But then he averted his eyes and walked past me.

The entire evening was interesting and challenging for me. I affirm that the demonstrative gifts are still alive today, and I think I genuinely desire for them to be exercised. But I have seen so many abuses, or coercive tones taken, in relation to these gifts, that I have progressively lost my enthusiasm for them. And more times than not, I long for simple discipleship and Christ-likeness in character more than I long for a demonstration of mystical power. Is it possible to find some middle ground that affirms good theology and discipleship as well as a move of God’s Spirit? Or better yet, could it be that discipleship and character formation IS a powerful move of the Spirit? Hmm…food for thought and prayer.

Neglecting the Blog

2007-06-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

Where has the last month gone? My blog has been completely neglected, along with all my faithful readers. I will admit that I have had several blog ideas floating in my mind but rarely the time to make them leap from the brain to a post.

BUT...there is good news. During the week of July 4, we (Adina and I with the boys) will be making our way to the Denver area to reconnect with our Colorado friends. If you are around during that week, we would love and enjoy seeing you. Let us know what might work for you during those few days...

National Day of Prayer

2007-05-01T07:43:00.000-07:00

You already know this, but this Thursday (May 3) is the National Day of Prayer. Click here to find out more information from the official website. Let me encourage you to take some kind of time that day to pray for our government, for education, for the media, for families, for churches.

Our Latest "Adventure" with Connor

2007-05-01T07:38:00.000-07:00

Many of you may have heard about our latest “adventure” with Connor. Somehow, this past Sunday morning, the open face of our clothes iron connected with the right side of Connor’s face. His right cheek up to around his eye and forehead were burned (second degree burns, so they will heal without any major scarring). I made some last minute phone calls in order to have the worship and other elements of the morning service covered, and thankfully some key people came through like champions.

We spent around three hours at the local Emergency Room. The doctor was mostly concerned for swelling, and so she and nurses wanted to keep Connor around for a short time to monitor how much swelling took place. It does look a little puffy still and continues to ooze with fluid and gunk, but it has improved even from Sunday morning. And of course, Connor hasn’t missed a beat – he is still into everything and a bundle of energy. Needless to say, Adina has been great despite the complete upheaval of her schedule this week. Things like this are always stressful and emotionally exhausting. Thank God it was not more serious; had the iron touched his eye, we would be in a whole different and more intense situation.

Are There Any Who Seek Him?

2007-04-13T07:41:00.000-07:00

Two nights ago I was struck and knocked flat by an overwhelming reality here in Sweetwater at the church we are part of: as far as I can discern, Adina and I are the only ones in our spiritual community that actively and regularly spend time seeking Jesus in scripture, in prayer, and through other Christian resources. Even some of my key leaders admitted that at best they occasionally pray in their cars as they travel from one location to another, which in Sweetwater is no more than 5-7 minutes at a time. There are some women involved in a women’s study (e.g. He Speaks to Me by Priscilla Shirer), but instead of spacing it out and thoughtfully considering each day’s material, they will cram five days of study into 2-3 hours the day of or the day before.

I know that Jesus takes everyone where they are at spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, and physically – come one, come all. And so there should be a measure of grace and mercy that is extended to these here around us. But God never intended for us to stay there, to remain spiritually disengaged. Paul, in Colossians 1:9-12, prayed specifically that believers in Colossae would be filled with knowledge of God’s will through the Holy Spirit, and that they would live lives worthy of the Lord and please him in everyway. He then unpacks what it means to live this worthy life and to please him: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his grace and might. There is progression here, a direction in which believers are to be heading – towards maturity. Hebrews 6:1-2 says, “Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity…”

This realization stirred in me a nostalgic longing for the spiritual community that we once had with our Denver friends, for the fellowship of other couples that were, in similar fashion, seeking the Lord and desiring to walk in closeness to him. I long even for engaging conversation that may not be all that spiritual but keeps me on toes (that keeps in current events, in business or finance, or in music or sports). I know that we are called to this place for a season (and I take confidence in that), but I am feeling and experiencing a spiritual loneliness. I do feel challenged and encouraged by those at our parent church in Abilene, but those relationships are limited simply by proximity – they are a good 40 miles away.

Everything Is Bigger In Texas

2007-04-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

Including my gut. It is true: all the fried chicken, tex-mex, and barbeque here are giving me "extra padding." I have literally put on about 7-10 lbs. in the eight months we have been here. So I have taken drastic measures and actually put myself on a Weight Watchers program for men to help me get a better handle on my portion sizes (their Flex Plan seems to be the best and most practical program I have come across). Can I admit that as a guy...that I actually joined Weight Watchers? In all actuality, I truly believe that eating has been a coping strategy for us since we have moved down here from Denver. There is comfort in food when facing enormous amounts of change and stress, which can become dangerous.

Before or After Toothpaste

2007-04-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

So Adina and I are at odds...in teaching Connor how to brush his teeth. We have two distinct approaches: I was raised with the habit of putting toothpaste on the toothbrush first, then wetting it in the sink for brushing while Adina, however, was taught that you wet or rinse the toothbrush first and then apply the toothpaste for brushing.

Unfortunately, the few websites I have been to (I actually did a Yahoo search for "how to brush your teeth") suggest rinsing or wetting the toothbrush before applying toothpaste. So which is it, or does it matter?

Light of the World

2007-03-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago I was reading the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5. I love to revisit this homily by Jesus frequently, because it forms the bedrock of so many basic Christian ethics and practices. In one particular portion, Jesus is crystal clear that we are the “light of the world,” and as that light we should shine brightly for all to see. He gives the command, “…let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

I have always found this verse (and others that convey a similar idea) so challenging and in many ways disconcerting. In essence, the quality of my life – the way I relate to others, lead my family, speak of Christ, minister to those in need – should lead others to recognize and glorify God. This has been such a heavy weight for me as a minister or pastor. So often I find myself engulfed in marital disharmony or in being overbearing to my children that I wonder how anyone could be led to Jesus by simply observing my life. And I have recently been so convicted by how lazy I find myself, how my work ethic is struggling – I stay in a perpetual state of fatigue that dampens all motivation.

Have you ever been around a couple or family that immediately seems to encourage and challenge you? It is as if they have figure some things out…they exude a peace and joy. They radiate Christ’s love, and all you want to do is spend as much time with them as possible, which usually involves some degree of smothering. These couples or families are so attractive, and every pastor wants them in their congregation. I want to be this kind of couple or family, the precise kind Jesus spoke of in his sermon. They shine so brightly that no one can miss it – they natural draw people to Jesus and provide a place of comfort and safety for those in need of encouragement and rest.

Lord, how do we get there? What needs to be figured out or overcome? What needs to be released or done away with? Lord, I want my life to be attractive to all those who see it and observe; I desire that they see my good deeds and glorify You.

March Madness

2007-03-16T09:17:00.000-07:00

I love March Madness and the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. It is so bizarre to me how it draws men all around the world – filling out a tournament bracket, making predictions, looking for upsets and unlikely “dark horses” – it is invigorating. There is something about it that taps into the heart and psyche of men (and some women). I know that for many work places, the overall productivity of men drops significantly for a few days – they are engulfed in the “Big Dance.”

On the Move

2007-02-25T13:14:00.001-08:00

My older brother, Pat (who has served in ministry here in Texas for years), just came through Sweetwater on his way to Atlanta. He and his family are moving there to be a part of a large church called Northpoint. I am extremely excited about his new ministry opportunities, but I am also grieving the fact that he will be so far away – a full two days of driving to see them.

I will miss you, bro!

This and That

2007-02-25T12:52:00.000-08:00

So today we baptized three people at our church here in Sweetwater, which was very exciting and brought a fresh enthusiasm. I wish I could say everything went without a hitch, but that would not be true to form. We had recently hired a company out of Abilene to repair the heating mechanism to the baptistery, and we assumed that it was in good working order…until this morning before the service. The heater kept throwing a breaker, leaving the water just cooler than room temperature. The three ladies that were baptized were good sports, but they froze in the water. Needless to say, we did not linger there during service.

We are officially in our new rental house as of yesterday. I had a small crew helping me move the big furniture in literally 40-50 mph winds (dirt was in the air like a thick, brown cloud). At one point I could literally grit the dirt in my teeth. Everything in our new rental house has a film of dust on it too. When I took a shower last night after moving for most of the day, I had so much dirt just in my ears – it was gross. But we are here now, still trying to decide if we like the new place. It was the only rental house available for our size of family, and it happen to come available when we needed it (a huge blessing). But the inside is dated, and the pipes squeal when you turn the water on. It has a great deal of wood paneling, which makes the house overall darker. We were used to the openness and brightness of the home we were in. But the place here is in a nicer neighborhood, and there are a ton kids around us, which will be an added bonus.

Movin' On Up

2007-02-16T08:51:00.000-08:00

So we have "officially" transitioned Connor to a "big boy bed." He has had three successful nights in it without getting out or reaking havoc. Getting him to settle when he is initially put down has been a challenge, but once he is asleep he seems to do fine. Our little guy is growing up...

Pray for Us

2007-01-26T07:35:00.001-08:00

Pray for us! We just learned this morning that our house that we are currently in (and renting) just came under contract. It closes at the end of February, but the buyers do not need the house until the first of April. So we have time to transition to another place. It is hard to believe – this house has been on the market for over two years. Ugh…the thought of displacing the boys is heart wrenching at the moment. There is always the possibility that the contract will fall through…anything is possible. We know that the place has significant foundation issues, so perhaps the inspection will kill the deal. Lord, what are you up to?

Word, Spirit, and Power

2007-01-25T14:19:00.000-08:00

So our parent church in Abilene (Beltway Park Baptist Church) is having their Word, Spirit, and Power Conference this weekend, beginning this evening. It entails three heavy hitters in the charismatic world: R.T. Kendall, Jack Taylor, and Charles Carrin. And to be completely honest, I am struggling with a degree of trepidation.

I am certainly open to the ministry of these gentlemen and have a confidence that they are truly functioning under the empowerment of the Holy Spirit and with a doctrinal solidity. My uneasiness comes more from the fact that it has been over ten years since I have been in this kind of environment, and a great deal of water has passed under the bridge since that time in college. Perhaps my seminary education has made me more critical of such things, more skeptical.

One factor in my reservation is that many in the charismatic camp hold distinct anti-intellectual stances, making it clear that they are anti-education and anti-seminary. Seminary is cemetery in their minds. It corrupts the heart and the work of the Spirit for crass book knowledge, or so they say. I know there are exceptions, but this sentiment is still strong. Supposedly, the Spirit often works in ways the mind cannot comprehend, outside the realm of theological discourse. And I acknowledge that there is certainly a high degree of mystery when it comes to the person and work of the Spirit. I have heard that the heart will understand the things of Spirit that the mind will not.

I guess I have been influenced too much by my seminary professor, David Buschart, one of my theology instructors. He consistently made the point that as believers we need to earn the right to declare “mystery.” We need to be willing to dive into scripture, to wrestle through the theological issues of justification, salvation, sanctification, glorification, the character of God, the condition of humanity, the Trinity, the role of the Holy Spirit, etc. And in the process, we attempt to understand or interpret our experiences in light of scripture (and not the other way around). What if I hear or see something not spoken of in scripture tonight, something outside my theological framework? It should drive me to study, to question, to struggle. If it is within the realm of possibility, as scripture reveals, then I can declare “mystery.” But if it not within a reasonable range of possibilities according to scripture, then I have a responsibility to speak up, to be a voice for theological integrity and orthodoxy.

It's Official

2007-01-05T15:10:00.000-08:00

It was inevitable, and it comes with a mixture of emotions!

Dave Brubeck Quartet

2007-01-05T08:21:00.000-08:00

So I am trying not be one of those kinds of people that exclusively listens to Christian music. Not that such a practice is wrong by any means, but I am finding that there is world of quality music outside the Christian genre.

Thus, I am delving into the world of classical jazz. One album that I am thoroughly enjoying is Time Out by the Dave Brubeck Quartet, originally released in 1959 by Sony Music Entertainment Inc. Such tracks as "Blue Rondo a la Turk" and "Take Five" are impeccable and display an expertise in music that are truly a cut above.

Homemade Lattes for the New Year

2007-01-02T18:50:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all my friends and readers!

So for Christmas, my big gift from Adina was my very own espresso maker/steamer. Unfortunately for Sweetwater, there is no Starbucks – in fact, the nearest coffee shop is a 45 minute drive in Abilene. So out of pity and compassion, Adina came to my aid. I had unpacked it from the box and even followed the steps to run it through its “Before Brewing” cycle to make sure all the elements were functioning properly. But because we did not have any espresso coffee, we refrained from actually brewing or steaming for my delectable hazelnut latte – until today.

So the fiasco was comical at best. We do not have any official shot glasses, so we have no idea on just how much water to allow through the espresso filter for a shot. The first time around for two shots, I allowed nearly a half of cup of water to pass through the filter – the espresso was so weak I could barely taste it. And for whatever reason, the maker was not brewing the espresso hot enough. On the second attempt, I did much less water, which seemed to work – but still the espresso was only lukewarm. After settling for less than best, I then took a whack at steaming some milk. It seemed as though I was forming some nice froth (and redeeming my latte-making skills). So I poured the steamed milk and froth into my cup with my already brewed espresso, added some hazelnut flavoring, stirred with my new battery-operated stirrer (it is quite impressive), and…managed to taste tepid milk with a slight hint of espresso and hazelnut. It was horrible! Adina and I have not laughed so hard in weeks.

So pray, for my own well-being, that my latte making skills dramatically improve!

Brother Ken

2006-12-28T13:59:00.000-08:00

Church in a small, rural community is never without its adventures. Two weeks ago (on a Sunday morning) was one such adventure. A gentleman, by the name of Brother Ken, called one of our elders the previous evening about possibly receiving a ride from the local Motel 6 to our church for the Sunday service. The request was not unreasonable, so we made arrangements to have Brother Ken picked up and brought to the church. Caught in the preparations for the morning, I did not have an opportunity to visit with him at length before the service began. I did manage to introduce myself, at which time he requested to visit with me for a few minutes after the service. And, of course, I was more than willing to make myself available to him.

The service went its normal length, and afterwards I was active connecting with various members and visitors. I progressively made my way to Brother Ken, who was waiting patiently for his chance to talk with me. I approached him and extended a listening ear to whatever may be on his mind. He then proceeded to inform me (and not ask) that we were going to give him a place to stay for two to three nights; he preferred staying with a family rather than in a motel/hotel. He continued to reveal that he has a ministry in which he travels the “highways and byways” of Texas in order to share the gospel and to “confront” churches on how they receive outsiders. As soon as he used the word “confront,” I knew things were going to be dicey.

After hearing him out, I told Brother Ken that we were more than willing to help in whatever way we can, but that we have a procedure in place for these kinds of situations. We request that someone needing assistance fill out some forms that ask about their background, financial circumstances, etc. We then sit down with them and have an informal interview to more accurately assess the nature of their need. Brother Ken immediately was offended that we were treating or viewing him as a “needy person.” He was a brother in Christ who was entitled to our hospitality – no questions asked. In fact, from his perspective, he had a biblical right to privacy, and our procedure to gain more information was unbiblical (he would not even give us his last name). I informed him that as overseers/elders of our congregation, we are charged with the responsibility to protect and shepherd those within our church, to make wise decisions concerning the affairs of our congregation (1 Timothy 3:1-7, Titus 1:6-9, 1 Peter 5:1-3). Our process ensures that we are using our resources with accountability and stewardship, and that we are not putting families in danger of manipulation or fraud. If he was unable to submit to the authority of the elders and the procedure they put into place, then we were unable to help him.

This sent Brother Ken through the roof. He first turned directly away from me and walk straight up to another gentleman in our congregation. He then proceeded to ask that gentleman (our friend Leroy) about staying in his home for the two to three days. I was shocked that he had turned away from me and approached Leroy – an act of pure defiance to what I was communicating. I walk over to him and immediately interrupted his conversation with Leroy. This was not how things were going to transpire. He became even more heated and informed me that I was an instrument and voice of Satan, and that he wanted to have nothing to do with a church like ours. We had to escort him out of the church building. He simmered down once outside and requested a ride back to the interstate; I had one of my rough cowboys give him a lift.

Downplaying Sin

2006-12-22T10:22:00.000-08:00

My head is still swimming in light of the recent news of Grace Chapel (our previous church in the Denver area) and its senior pastor. For those unaware of the situation, he publicly announced several days ago his struggle with homosexuality and his periodic indiscretions over the past 25 years – all of which was new information for both his family and the church which he founded. The report is, of course, in the footsteps of the latest confessions of homosexuality by Ted Haggard at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. My heart is heavy and saddened; the impact of a secret life of sin is far reaching. For the spiritually mature, the wounds will heal and a new awareness/sensitivity will arise. For the spiritually immature, they will struggle with trusting a church and its leaders for a long season. How can a pastor espouse a viewpoint that his own lifestyle contradicts?

At some point, a decision must have been made to hide the struggle. At some point, the choice was made to limit the level of openness and honesty the senior pastor, Paul Barnes, had with his wife and closest confidants. While I do not agree or condone such an action, I can understand it. A person in ministry is under tremendous pressure to perform, to be a certain kind of person that is (in all practicality) free from any significant issues of sin. The pressure is applied both internally and externally. In light of this pressure, it becomes easy to downplay sin altogether. I know (from personal experience) how easy it is to talk and teach about a host of Christian issues and topics, of Christian doctrine and practice, and yet avoid talking about sin. It may be spoken of, but only in a general sense. Confession and repentance become lost components of corporate worship and fellowship.

1 John 1:8-9 are telling, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

There is a certain pain involved in being open and honest about sin, and there is a measure of risk in “confessing to one another (James 5:16)” and to God. I have been reading in Hosea the past few weeks, and the first three verses of chapter six I keep returning to frequently. The prophet is encouraging Israel, “Come; let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces, but he will heal us; he has injured us, but he will bind our wounds…” Turning toward the LORD is a turning away from sin – it is bringing issues of sin to light, wrestling with them, and working through them as one seeks God. Hosea continues in verse three: “Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him.” I am convinced that the process of acknowledging God goes hand in hand with dealing with sin. It seems so simple and easy to separate the two.

For Adina and me, we have revisited the nature of our openness with each other. Can we be honest with each other about our struggles? Especially in the area of sexuality (and its many sides and angles), can we speak freely about our present condition? I have heard men make the claim that they do not want to discuss their sexual temptations or struggles with their spouse in an effort to “protect” them or to maintain their “innocence.” And I can understand the mentality and rationale. But I am convinced that such issues need to be talked about, no matter how difficult they may be. Working through them as a couple, I believe, will only make the marriage stronger and create a greater resolve to keep from sin. Paul Barnes has wrestled with homosexuality for years, and his wife never knew. May I never be in the same situation!

Forgive Me

2006-12-21T04:29:00.000-08:00

My deepest apologies to my readers for the drastic “slow down” in posting. I have several posts stirring in my mind, and I have every intention of progressively getting to them. In the meantime, bear with me while I attempt to navigate the craziness of ministry, family, and holidays.

Lord Come!

2006-12-05T19:57:00.000-08:00

WARNING: Some of my following thoughts are heavy, may lack flow, and seem partially irrational. I ask for a measure of grace upfront as a share a bit of my heart.

Have you ever desired more joy, for a greater measure of lightheartedness or of laughter? Perhaps worded slightly different, have you ever felt as though you have lost touch with what you truly enjoy and delight in? Welcome to my world right now…

The struggle came to the surface several weeks ago when I began to wrestle with what to do on my days off. I quickly became aware of the fact that the absence of activity or responsibility does not necessarily provide me with a sense of rest or refreshment, which I so desperately need. I crave something more…to find a place or to engage in some activity that energizes me, that brings to life my passions. I desire to feel alive, to live life to its fullest. I want to find that which gives me pleasure deeply in my soul.

I once heard the writer and orator Dennis Prager maker the point that happiness is a mandate of God. I believe there is a degree of validity to what he is saying. I cannot help but to think that if the Spirit is alive in me, if I have been made alive in Christ, then that sense of vivaciousness should shine through. But this seems far from the reality of who I am at times. I so easily get stuck in the mire of persisting issues and struggles (mostly in relationships) that all too easily rob me of any sense of joy. It seems so easy to quote the phrase, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” But what does that mean, and what does this joy look like? I think I have jumped through some mental hurdles to convince myself that this “joy of the Lord” is some how detached from the realm of delight, pleasure, and happiness. It is some strange acquiescence to circumstances…to deem all things heavy-laden as the will of God, and then to move on. This cannot be it – the joy of the Lord must be more. I know it is, because I have tasted of it.

Maybe that is what my heart’s cry really is: to taste deeply of the presence of God again. I truly long to encounter him in a way I have not encountered him in quite some time – to see and sense his glory, to feel his nearness, to hear the quiet whispers of his majesty. I want to be awed, to fall to my knees because I sense his holiness. That is the pleasure I seek! Lord, my prayer is simply this: come.

A First Time for Everything

2006-11-20T20:09:00.000-08:00

I am convinced that God has a peculiar (and at times, warped) sense of humor, allowing me to have particular “experiences” for the first time in the past few weeks:

Adina and I (with the boys) were officially “mooned” by a group of young adults in a Chevy Tahoe while driving in our Toyota Sienna. Fortunately, David and Connor were glued to a movie on the DVD player and missed the entire fiasco.
I killed my first cockroach over two inches in length. The accuracy of my long-distance shoe throwing still is baffling my mind.
We hosted a funeral at our church in Sweetwater, and it was not until after the service that I discovered that my suit pants were unzipped the entire time.
While filling a prescription at a nearby pharmacy in Sweetwater, an elderly man (at least 70 years old) walks into the pharmacy wearing bright blue crocs – BRIGHT BLUE CROCS IN SWEETWATER, TEXAS. I could not help but to smile and chuckle.
I learned the true meaning of two phrases I had never heard before: “talking to a man about a horse” and “riding a cotton pony.”

Simply "Yes" or "No"

2006-11-03T09:11:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed that it is difficult for people to make firm commitments? I am becoming more aware (with a heightened sensitivity I suppose) how much people give themselves “an out” when committing their time or energy. And I am no exception – I am the perpetual “options” guy. It is a challenge to give a firm yes or no – “maybe” or “most likely” is so much more comfortable. And it gets worse when married couples use their spouse as their out – the “I need to check with my husband/wife” is the most common mantra. Do not get me wrong; marital harmony in scheduling is a critical component to overall happiness.

All this was sparked by two recent situations in which I was told with confidence that particular individuals could “probably make something happen” only to learn, at the last minute, that they really could not. But the word “probably” was their out – they never really fully committed in the first place. Maybe having an out is a way to lessen the blow if something does arise that prevents involvement. Or maybe having an out is way to ultimately maintain control over our schedule. I think that is it – by fully committing to a particular task or project, we are surrendering control for a period of time. And we innately do not like surrendering control.

I was reading this morning in Matthew 5:33-37 when Jesus was giving his “Sermon on the Mount.” He specifically speaks to notion of making empty promises (oaths) that a person never truly intends to fulfill. In that time, the religious leaders would make such oaths, swearing by heaven, by Jerusalem, or by their own heads. Whatever they swore by gave their promise legitimacy, regardless of whether they planned to keep their promise or not. I think we today have a similar practice: by making partial commitments (with an out) we gain legitimacy. We are recognized as being interested in helping or giving of our time. But with an out, we can uncommit ourselves and still have the appearance of concern or involvement.

Jesus put it clearly, “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes,’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”

A Downside to Ministry

2006-11-03T08:32:00.000-08:00

I am coming to the realization that one of the greatest downsides of ministry is that my day off is Friday. This means that the one day a week I have time to relax, catch up with friends, and disconnect from the office is a day most people still must work. It makes for quiet Friday mornings sitting at Tuscany’s Coffee Shop writing blog postings…

Maybe that is a long way to say I miss my Colorado buds!

Soccer Anyone?!

2006-10-24T07:31:00.000-07:00

So I had the awesome responsibility of coaching my first soccer game this past Saturday. The primary coach and assistant coach are heavily involved in the local Church of Christ here in Sweetwater, and they were participating in a leadership retreat. So the mantle fell to me, which still is baffling my mind.

The most difficult part was coordinating substitutions for when players were tired, hurt, or bored. We would typically play eight players on the field while two players where on the sidelines. But this game the other team was down in numbers, so we only played six players on the field. And since we were playing on a full field, fewer players meant that everyone was running more and getting worn out much more quickly.

The good news was that we only lost by one point, and at times we actually had some good shots on the other team’s goal. I was proud of David and his assertiveness on the field (typically he is a bit more passive and waits for the ball to come to him). Overall, the experience was a positive one, an opportunity to encourage and love on some kids!

Setting Boundaries

2006-10-20T11:29:00.000-07:00

My recent post called “A Living Theology” has received a number of responses (more than I anticipated), many from individuals that I do know or from those who make anonymous postings. And what began as a discussion on how our life experiences and culture influence our application of theology (and a clarion call for new ways of articulating and applying theological truth) morphed into a debate on the existence of hell and whether all people are ultimately saved.

The progressive change in the topic of the discussion and those who were posting comments has made me rethink the purpose and direction of my blog. One conclusion I have come to is that I prefer to keep my blog for those who know me and for those with whom I have some existing relationship. This makes a discussion more meaningful, I believe, and slightly more amicable. When unknown entities begin to post their comments or responses, things seem to divulge into mere intellectual debate. For this reason, I am removing the ability for anonymous postings on my blog. I know this may create a challenge for some who are technologically challenged. Drop me a personal email or give me a call, and I am more than willing to help anyone set up a blog account.

I appreciate your cooperation with this, and please do not let this deter you from commenting on a posting of mine. I want to encourage dialogue, but within particular parameters.

Everyone Loves Fender Benders

2006-10-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

So I managed to get into a fender-bender on Wednesday of this week. The experience is rarely a positive one, and this was no exception. And to make matters worse, it was completely my fault. On Avenue B (the one I usually take), I can turn left onto it and take it several blocks before coming to a yield sign at a major intersection. But on Avenue C (the one I took on Wednesday), they decided to randomly throw in a stop sign before its major intersection. I hit a young Hispanic lady who was weeping and shaking uncontrollably. Bless her heart – it took her more than ten minutes just to calm down enough to move her car to the curb. Fortunately, it was not a high traffic intersection at all (no intersection in Sweetwater is “high traffic”).

I felt horrible about the situation, but it got worse when I found out that this young Hispanic lady did not have automobile insurance. She ended up getting a bigger ticket than I did, and my insurance is not responsible for the damages to her vehicle. The front bumper to my little white Toyota Camry is all scuffed up, a daily visual reminder of my mishap. Fortunately, Adina has been more than gracious.

I called the police to come and give a report of the accident, but I am wondering if that was the right decision considering the fact that I knew the Hispanic lady had no insurance. From a legal standpoint, I think it was the right thing to do. But from a moral/ethical standpoint, was it the right thing to do? She would not have received a ticket for not having insurance if I had not called the police. What do you think?

The Park at Sweetwater

2006-10-06T09:26:00.000-07:00

I thought I should post some pictures of the church we are working with down here in Sweetwater, Texas. Hopefully, it will give all of our non-Texan friends a taste of where we are and what life is like away from the mountains. And I aim to add some other pictures of the family and the home soon as well.

A Living Theology

2006-09-23T17:12:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my good friend, Lo Mielke (and our brief conversation a few days ago), my mind has been thinking a great deal about how much our life experiences, our circumstances, and our surrounding culture influence our theology and the way we view and understand God. The notion is simple, but its reality has been hitting me like a ton of bricks. Of course, my sensitivity to cultural influences and practices has been significantly heightened since we left the Denver metro area for a small rural community in Texas – talk about a significant milieu shift.

Theology is not a sterile, laboratory science that is examined and probed in an isolated vacuum. It is not merely an intellectual endeavor, though many strive to make it so. Theology is intricately woven and intertwined with our experiences and culture. This is why I am convinced that every generation must diligently work to develop new theologies and new ways of understanding and then articulating who God is (and what that means for us). Old theologies must be examined and tested, and new creative thinking must be engaged. This is not to say that old theological systems (particularly those of the sixteenth century) do not hold immense value. On the contrary, they provide excellent lessons to us on how to think critically and theologically about the cultures and circumstances around us. They were theologies written in the vernacular of those days that spoke to cultural phenomenons of their specific time and era. Luther’s theses (for example) of 1517 were a direct attack on the pervasive cultural practice of buying and selling indulgences by the Roman Catholic Church.

So there is the need to new theological reflection. But there is also a need for a keen awareness of how much culture influences our theological perceptions (sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse). Living in Colorado were there is a strong presence of environmentalism and conservation, I have a view of God’s world and our responsibility to care for it (see the creation account in Genesis) that is most likely outside the mainstream ideology of political conservatives. And my experience of working at the Denver Rescue Mission (a ministry to the homeless) for four years has produced in me a view of ministry that is much more “geographical” – I am convinced that the Christian church is called to their city or community, not to a niche demographic.

From a circumstantial viewpoint, a person who has experienced deep loss or failure in ministry has a distinctly different perception of God (his blessing and providence) than one who has not experienced such things. The fact that Adina has lived through the suicide of two immediate family members has given her uniqueness in her view and grasp of God that few possess. A person who has experienced (or is experiencing) significant depression understands God differently from one who has not had such experiences. I say all this to make the point that we must be aware and critical of what shapes our theology. And perhaps, in our ministry to others, we must be courageous and dare to shape or create a new culture (and its experiences) in order to provide a more accurate view of God.

Walking Among the Dead

2006-09-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

I am convinced that everyone should periodically walk among the dead. By the phrase “walk among the dead,” I mean that everyone should, from time to time (once a year or so), quietly and thoughtfully walk the grounds of a nearby cemetery. Why it that the only time we walk among the dead is when someone we know dies? I’m not saying that we should have a weird fascination with cemeteries, but rather that walking among the dead gives us a humble sense of our own mortality, that we are made for something else, for something more. We are made for eternity, specifically eternity with God.

All this talk of death and cemeteries was prompted by my involvement in a family funeral for an elderly lady who was a strong, spiritual pillar in the church we are leading. Not knowing how long it would take me to reach the grave site, I left early enough to allow for an extended drive. I managed to reach the cemetery fairly quickly (nearly thirty minutes ahead of time), which allowed me time to slowly peruse the memorial park. The experience was overwhelming, and I found myself tearing up numerous times.

The truth of the matter is that I was overcome with a keen sense or awareness that my lifetime is a speck or fragment of eternity. There is only so much time to love others, to strive for Christ-likeness, to grow and learn from my mistakes. And I was overcome by the thought of my parents and family members getting closer to the end of their physical lives. There is a difficult tension within me: I hate the idea of death and losing those I am closest to, but I also know that fellowship with Christ beyond this temporal life is so much sweeter and better. It is a good and necessary tension, I think – but certainly not an easy one. Perhaps this is why Paul wrote Philippians 1:21, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” From the context of the passage, one can tell that he was wrestling with the same tension.

Twinkle, Twinkle

2006-09-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

It is official: Connor can sing almost all of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.” Of course he has a few wrong pitches and some half-pronounced words, but the song is definitely recognizable. It actually caught me off guard when I first heard it; we have never actually heard him attempt to sing a song before. The small milestone brought a smile to my face and a chuckle. Watch out, Pavarotti!

Glimmers of Hope

2006-09-07T18:04:00.000-07:00

Today I had the privilege of joining an early morning (6:00 a.m.) Bible Study at the main Church of Christ campus here in Sweetwater. You know you are in a small town when a church is named strictly by its location (4^th and Elm Church of Christ). The study was all men (mainly older) from a number of local churches. What was encouraging was that the nature of the content of the study was actually engaging and thought-provoking, focusing on the temptation of Jesus in the wilderness. I probably would have preferred a little more interaction (and less lecture), but overall it was uplifting to be around other men eager to learn more about scripture.

Later in the day I received a call from another local pastor here in Sweetwater who is interested in connecting for coffee (at the local Whataburger). From what I have been told, he is a younger pastor who is a great person to know, full of passion, and one who could offer some genuine insights into life and ministry here locally. So I was encouraged, and honestly it felt really good to have someone call and say, “Welcome to Sweetwater - I’m here to help in any way possible.”

The Joys of Transition

2006-09-02T18:17:00.000-07:00

So…we have been in Texas for almost a month, and the true effects of transition are beginning to set in. It seems as though the “honeymoon” stage of a new place and a new role have quickly come and gone, and we are facing the harsh reality that we know very few people here in Sweetwater and feel culturally out of place. Just this morning David and I ran to a nearby donut shop called Doris’s Sweet Shop, and as we entered an older gentleman gave me one of those “you’re not from around here” looks after noticing that I was wearing flip flops (or thongs, as some would say). And so, as you can imagine, our minds and hearts have been flooded with questions of doubt and confusion. Is this really where God wants us? Why would he lead us to a place where we feel so out-of-place?

I think for Adina the struggle has been that very few people in the church we are leading have called, come by, or made any significant effort to reach out to us. This is coupled with the realization that 1) there are no other stay-at-home mothers her age and that 2) there are no other families that really match our demographic. So we are feeling out-of-place in more ways than one. We keep telling ourselves that relationships take time and effort, and that we need to give ourselves (and others) a measure of grace. But that does not take away the heartache of missing good friends and all that is familiar.

We were privileged to attend our first official Sweetwater High School football game last night, which was quite the cultural experience. We were told to wear red, and we certainly were glad that we did. Connor lasted about a quarter and a half before getting bored and restless, and I spent the bulk of the first half trying to explain the basics of the game to David. But all in all, there was a small connection made with our community. Friday night football, down here in Texas, is a religion in crude form.

Today, I gave Adina “a day away” with her close friend Pam that she has known almost twenty years. Twenty years is a long time to know someone. They went over to the nearby metropolis of Abilene, Texas to eat, gab, and get pedicures (all that girly stuff) while us boys had “quality” time together. Keeping up with two energetic boys is exhausting and an exercise in patience and extending mercy. On more than one occasion during the day I wanted to resort to barking commands and making threats, but thankfully I resisted the temptation. My time with them (before saying goodnight and tucking them in bed) ended with David asking the deeply theological question, “Did people go to heaven before Jesus was born?” Leave it to my son to ask such a question five minutes before he needs to be in bed. The question led to an interesting discussion on whether people, before the time of Jesus, could know God without knowing about the Israelites or being an Israelite. Needless to say, my mind is tired.

Continue to pray that God will give us wisdom and discernment about our situation here. I know that the Lord has good things in store, and I firmly believe he wants to see significant transformation not only in us but also within the congregation we are here to lead. Pray that we will find our strength, peace, and rest in Him despite the immediate "joys of transition."

Taking the Mind Off Things

2006-08-27T18:57:00.000-07:00

A couple of things that I have enjoyed lately that might be worth checking out:

“Mr. Bean” Videos, starring Rowan Atkinson
The latest Michael Buble album, “it’s time”

You Know You're In Texas When...

2006-08-19T12:31:00.000-07:00

You know you’re in Texas when…

You eat out for barbeque three times in one week
Your two year old begins saying ya’ll
All the outlets in your home only have two prongs
You drive the only foreign made vehicle in your neighborhood
There are more fried chicken restaurants than any others in town
The amenities of your hotel include horse stables and a bird cleaning area for hunters
Friday night high school football games are not optional
You participate in conversations about which countries the U.S. should nuke off the face of the planet
Your washer and dryer are in your master bathroom
You don’t have the mountains to the west to give you a directional bearing

Telling Our Stories

2006-08-01T14:37:00.000-07:00

We have some neighbors of ours (that we are about to leave in our move to Texas) that literally represent three distinct cultural backgrounds and experiences – Afghani (Abdul), Venezuelan (Yavette), and American (Jessica and Homer). They wanted to treat us to lunch yesterday and so prepared an enormous feast that was far more than we could ever eat. Though they speak English fairly well, there is still the presence of a slight language barrier. So conversation with them is sometimes a challenge. But I was determined to hear, out of simple curiosity, some of their stories about where they grew up, how they met, etc.

As they each told a little about their lives and history, I was utterly amazed. Abdul, for example, lived in Afghanistan during the invasion and occupation of Russia. I remember the struggle vaguely from my limited exposure to world history. He told us about how he and many of his family were attempting to escape the country when Russian forces intercepted them. They were arrested and interrogated, and Abdul was actually imprisoned for nearly five months in the city of Kabul. He recalled sleeping eighteen prisoners in a cell that was no bigger than 10 feet by 10 feet. It was a teacher that actually came to his aid and assisted him in getting an education visa to the United States.

Yavette told us much about her family in Venezuela who are business owners and operators. They are strongly opposed to the current leader of the country (Chavez) who seeks to walk in the footsteps Fidel Castro in Cuba (Papa Fidel, as she said). Since the rise of Chavez to power, the economy of the country (and its liberties) has been significantly hampered and damaged. But everyone in Venezuela knows that taking a strong stance against Chavez only leads to difficulties, so they are officially neutral politically.

The dialogue was fascinating, and I learned a valuable lesson: everyone has a story to tell and eagerly desire to tell it. Here where two individual who have incredible stories to share, and what a way to learn about the world and modern history. Abdul and Yavette have such rich experiences that make them into the beautiful people that they are.

Saying Goodbyes

2006-07-31T07:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our last Sunday to lead and participate in our Life Phase community, Marriage Matters, at Grace Chapel here in the Denver area. The time was truly emotional, difficult, and yet good. There is no easy way to say goodbye to friends, and the reality of leaving does not set in until one is actually faced with the real possibility of not seeing some of them for quite some time. We were blessed with a scrapbook of the various families in our community, each writing a short note of encouragement with a family photo for us to look at and remember as we officially transition to Texas. We were also blessed with many hugs and teary eyes that confirmed for me that, for a season, these friends were truly our extended family. For those we are leaving behind in Colorado, we deeply love you! Thank you for your enduring support!

Leaving Jerusalem

2006-07-23T08:34:00.000-07:00

I am teaching this morning (yes, I am making a post on Sunday morning) in our Life Phase Community at church called Marriage Matters on the transition in scripture from the ministry of Jesus to the ministry of the apostles. This is mainly found throughout the book of Acts in the New Testament. The idea is to examine what things the early apostles did well and not so well. And they did act wisely in many respects: they appointed new leadership (Matthias replaced Judas Iscariot, seven were appointed to care for widows and others in their physical needs), they waited for the empowerment of the Holy Spirit (which led to significant boldness and miracles), they keep in close fellowship and prayer (to the point that the walls of their meeting place shook), and they were careful to meet the needs of everyone in the community.

But what baffles me is the fact that they, for the most part, never left Jerusalem. This reality is clearly accentuated in Acts 8:1-3 despite the charge from Jesus in chapter 1 that the apostles were to be witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. Did they not think that charge applied them personally? Where they experts at delegation?

I cannot help but to think that truthfully they struggled with the notion of the gospel message being for all nations and ethnicities. We get a glimpse of this struggle in Acts 11 in how the apostles and many disciples responded to Peter’s ministry in Ceasarea within the household of Cornelius (a Roman centurion). They simply did not like it; only after Peter explained his vision/trance did they comply. But was this exclusive sentiment completely eradicated? We get another glimpse of this struggle in Galatians 2, where Paul confronts Peter concerning the exact same issue: isolation and exclusiveness. Paul, whose passion was ministry to the Gentiles, confronts Peter to his face concerning this mindset and attitude.

The Hebrews never quite grasped the notion that through Abrahamic covenant (Genesis 22) Israel was intended to be a conduit of ministry to other nations. Scripture is clear, “…through your offspring all peoples on earth will be blessed.” But the Jews wanted to keep the blessing and favor of God to themselves, with a strong sense of entitlement. They were, after all, the people of God. But they were the people of God with a purpose. And I would suggest that that purpose remains for Christians today: to be conduits of blessing and ministry to those outside the church. This idea is convicting for me…the need to develop a greater heart for the world, to hold ministry to unbelievers as a core value and conviction. How easy it is to build high walls (metaphorically) around the church and adopt a strict policy of preservation! But God cares more about transformation than preservation…

Friends for All Seasons

2006-07-22T21:43:00.001-07:00

For most who would read this blog, you know that my family and I are embarking on a significant life change as we relocate from the Denver metro area to the bustling metropolis of Sweetwater, Texas. And by the nature of the transition and the closing of a significant season of my life (completing my seminary degree), I have been thinking a great deal about the other seasons of my life that I have come through: my high school days, life in college at Texas Tech University, my internship at Focus on the Family, and my year of teaching overseas in China. And what has struck me is that I have very little contact, if any at all, with people that I knew in each of those seasons. And I am wondering why that is the case. Is this normal for most people, namely that some relationships simply come to a natural close or ending? What should my expectations be of the friendships that I have now that I am about to leave?

What I am realizing, for myself, is that I have an intense desire to not repeat the pattern of previous seasons. I want to keep many of my current relationships active and fresh despite the difficultly of distance. I truly desire to stay in contact, to make trips back to the Denver area to see friends, and to have them come and visit us. This is with a full acknowledgement that for many here in Denver, Texas is Nineveh. Is this naïve, wishful thinking, or is this really possible?

Intentionality perhaps holds the answer…

Welcome to My Blog

2006-07-22T21:13:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my first official posting on my very own blog. If I were completely truthful, I have had this blog setup for several weeks now, but the initial posting has been more than intimating. It has carried the weight of needing to be deeply profound and noteworthy, of a nature that leaves a lasting mark. But I have come to realize that all I can offer is who I am and the thoughts that cross my mind from day to day. Sometimes these thoughts may carry a significant element of truth that makes an impact; at other times they simply may be random (and humorous) experiences or realizations that strike me as worthy of mentioning. I am beginning this blog in an effort to put my life into words, to wrestle with difficult issues, to laugh a little, and to reflect and remember people and experiences. All who read are invited to join in…wrestle, laugh, reflect, and remember with me, and so partake of my life in some small way!