Brother Ken

Church in a small, rural community is never without its adventures. Two weeks ago (on a Sunday morning) was one such adventure. A gentleman, by the name of Brother Ken, called one of our elders the previous evening about possibly receiving a ride from the local Motel 6 to our church for the Sunday service. The request was not unreasonable, so we made arrangements to have Brother Ken picked up and brought to the church. Caught in the preparations for the morning, I did not have an opportunity to visit with him at length before the service began. I did manage to introduce myself, at which time he requested to visit with me for a few minutes after the service. And, of course, I was more than willing to make myself available to him.

The service went its normal length, and afterwards I was active connecting with various members and visitors. I progressively made my way to Brother Ken, who was waiting patiently for his chance to talk with me. I approached him and extended a listening ear to whatever may be on his mind. He then proceeded to inform me (and not ask) that we were going to give him a place to stay for two to three nights; he preferred staying with a family rather than in a motel/hotel. He continued to reveal that he has a ministry in which he travels the “highways and byways” of Texas in order to share the gospel and to “confront” churches on how they receive outsiders. As soon as he used the word “confront,” I knew things were going to be dicey.

After hearing him out, I told Brother Ken that we were more than willing to help in whatever way we can, but that we have a procedure in place for these kinds of situations. We request that someone needing assistance fill out some forms that ask about their background, financial circumstances, etc. We then sit down with them and have an informal interview to more accurately assess the nature of their need. Brother Ken immediately was offended that we were treating or viewing him as a “needy person.” He was a brother in Christ who was entitled to our hospitality – no questions asked. In fact, from his perspective, he had a biblical right to privacy, and our procedure to gain more information was unbiblical (he would not even give us his last name). I informed him that as overseers/elders of our congregation, we are charged with the responsibility to protect and shepherd those within our church, to make wise decisions concerning the affairs of our congregation (1 Timothy 3:1-7, Titus 1:6-9, 1 Peter 5:1-3). Our process ensures that we are using our resources with accountability and stewardship, and that we are not putting families in danger of manipulation or fraud. If he was unable to submit to the authority of the elders and the procedure they put into place, then we were unable to help him.

This sent Brother Ken through the roof. He first turned directly away from me and walk straight up to another gentleman in our congregation. He then proceeded to ask that gentleman (our friend Leroy) about staying in his home for the two to three days. I was shocked that he had turned away from me and approached Leroy – an act of pure defiance to what I was communicating. I walk over to him and immediately interrupted his conversation with Leroy. This was not how things were going to transpire. He became even more heated and informed me that I was an instrument and voice of Satan, and that he wanted to have nothing to do with a church like ours. We had to escort him out of the church building. He simmered down once outside and requested a ride back to the interstate; I had one of my rough cowboys give him a lift.

Downplaying Sin

My head is still swimming in light of the recent news of Grace Chapel (our previous church in the Denver area) and its senior pastor. For those unaware of the situation, he publicly announced several days ago his struggle with homosexuality and his periodic indiscretions over the past 25 years – all of which was new information for both his family and the church which he founded. The report is, of course, in the footsteps of the latest confessions of homosexuality by Ted Haggard at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. My heart is heavy and saddened; the impact of a secret life of sin is far reaching. For the spiritually mature, the wounds will heal and a new awareness/sensitivity will arise. For the spiritually immature, they will struggle with trusting a church and its leaders for a long season. How can a pastor espouse a viewpoint that his own lifestyle contradicts?

At some point, a decision must have been made to hide the struggle. At some point, the choice was made to limit the level of openness and honesty the senior pastor, Paul Barnes, had with his wife and closest confidants. While I do not agree or condone such an action, I can understand it. A person in ministry is under tremendous pressure to perform, to be a certain kind of person that is (in all practicality) free from any significant issues of sin. The pressure is applied both internally and externally. In light of this pressure, it becomes easy to downplay sin altogether. I know (from personal experience) how easy it is to talk and teach about a host of Christian issues and topics, of Christian doctrine and practice, and yet avoid talking about sin. It may be spoken of, but only in a general sense. Confession and repentance become lost components of corporate worship and fellowship.

1 John 1:8-9 are telling, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

There is a certain pain involved in being open and honest about sin, and there is a measure of risk in “confessing to one another (James 5:16)” and to God. I have been reading in Hosea the past few weeks, and the first three verses of chapter six I keep returning to frequently. The prophet is encouraging Israel, “Come; let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces, but he will heal us; he has injured us, but he will bind our wounds…” Turning toward the LORD is a turning away from sin – it is bringing issues of sin to light, wrestling with them, and working through them as one seeks God. Hosea continues in verse three: “Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him.” I am convinced that the process of acknowledging God goes hand in hand with dealing with sin. It seems so simple and easy to separate the two.

For Adina and me, we have revisited the nature of our openness with each other. Can we be honest with each other about our struggles? Especially in the area of sexuality (and its many sides and angles), can we speak freely about our present condition? I have heard men make the claim that they do not want to discuss their sexual temptations or struggles with their spouse in an effort to “protect” them or to maintain their “innocence.” And I can understand the mentality and rationale. But I am convinced that such issues need to be talked about, no matter how difficult they may be. Working through them as a couple, I believe, will only make the marriage stronger and create a greater resolve to keep from sin. Paul Barnes has wrestled with homosexuality for years, and his wife never knew. May I never be in the same situation!

Forgive Me

My deepest apologies to my readers for the drastic “slow down” in posting. I have several posts stirring in my mind, and I have every intention of progressively getting to them. In the meantime, bear with me while I attempt to navigate the craziness of ministry, family, and holidays.

Lord Come!

WARNING: Some of my following thoughts are heavy, may lack flow, and seem partially irrational. I ask for a measure of grace upfront as a share a bit of my heart.

Have you ever desired more joy, for a greater measure of lightheartedness or of laughter? Perhaps worded slightly different, have you ever felt as though you have lost touch with what you truly enjoy and delight in? Welcome to my world right now…

The struggle came to the surface several weeks ago when I began to wrestle with what to do on my days off. I quickly became aware of the fact that the absence of activity or responsibility does not necessarily provide me with a sense of rest or refreshment, which I so desperately need. I crave something more…to find a place or to engage in some activity that energizes me, that brings to life my passions. I desire to feel alive, to live life to its fullest. I want to find that which gives me pleasure deeply in my soul.

I once heard the writer and orator Dennis Prager maker the point that happiness is a mandate of God. I believe there is a degree of validity to what he is saying. I cannot help but to think that if the Spirit is alive in me, if I have been made alive in Christ, then that sense of vivaciousness should shine through. But this seems far from the reality of who I am at times. I so easily get stuck in the mire of persisting issues and struggles (mostly in relationships) that all too easily rob me of any sense of joy. It seems so easy to quote the phrase, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” But what does that mean, and what does this joy look like? I think I have jumped through some mental hurdles to convince myself that this “joy of the Lord” is some how detached from the realm of delight, pleasure, and happiness. It is some strange acquiescence to circumstances…to deem all things heavy-laden as the will of God, and then to move on. This cannot be it – the joy of the Lord must be more. I know it is, because I have tasted of it.

Maybe that is what my heart’s cry really is: to taste deeply of the presence of God again. I truly long to encounter him in a way I have not encountered him in quite some time – to see and sense his glory, to feel his nearness, to hear the quiet whispers of his majesty. I want to be awed, to fall to my knees because I sense his holiness. That is the pleasure I seek! Lord, my prayer is simply this: come.